George W's Christian Army's Creed - Are You a George W Christian
Soldier or Not?
Founding Principle 1 - Gay
people are not entitled to the rights of all other Americans.
Founding Principle 2 - It is okay to massacre innocent Iraqi
women and children since they are Muslims after all.
Founding Principle 3 - Iraqis held by US forces who are suspected
of collaboration with the enemy as well as prisoners of war should not be afforded the protection of the Geneva Convention.
A George W Christian Soldier has the duty to subject them to sexual torture including sodomy until they recognize Jesus
as their savior. Once converted, consult your latest orders from the Christian in Chief.
Founding Principle 4 - True believers who mirror George
W's Christian Faith should refrain from killing other true believers. All non-true believers are fair game.
Founding Principle 5 - The U.S. Constitution is just a legal
document created by men. Many of these men were dangerous, radical revolutionaries like Benjamin Franklin, George
Washington, and Governeur Morris. They wrongly believed that the people should govern themselves in a representative
democracy. As the enlightened know, there is no scripture that indicates that God delivered the Constitution to
a holy person or that God approved of the actions of the American Radicals. After all, didn't God try to eliminate
the Continental Army at Valley Forge with a harsh winter? And didn't the Continental Army sinfully attack the British forces
at Trenton on Christmas Day?
Absence such divine blessing, the Constitution can be ignored by the President whenever God's
Law, the Holy Bible, applies.
Founding Principle 6 - The true "Christian God" sanctioned
the Crusades. A President who is a "true believer" and who regularly speaks to God personally has been endowed by his
creator with the right to wage war and kill any non-true believer.
Founding Principle 7- It is alright to have paid for an illegal abortion that terminated
an innocent life or to commit any other sin against God or nature so long as the sin brought you closer to God and
you receive the Lord as your savior afterwards.
Founding Principle 8 - You can steal whatever you want as
long as you are a CEO, President, Vice President, CFO, or Treasurer of a Fortune 500 Corporation. However,
if your theft exceeds $1,000,000, you must attend a Protestant Church Service the Sunday after your theft exceeds the
To ratify or "absolve" your theft, you must: 1. Attend the entire service and fully participate (hymn
singing included); 2. Say the Lord's Prayer after all the others have left with the following amendment "You have
given me this week more than I deserve, yet I am greedy and I always need more. Please forgive my trespasses into the
bank accounts of others and deliver me from the hands of the Securities and Exchange Commission. Because thine is the
power and the glory forever, I will amend my will to increase my bequest to this Church by 10% of the amount stolen.
Founding Principle 9 - A George W. Christian has no obligation
to help the needy or the poor, but has an absolute duty to help the greedy and the rich because the meek shall inherit
the earth someday anyway.
Founding Principle 10 - You can lie to the American
public as much or as little as you want provided you are a "true believer" and you are implementing God's Plan for
the United States as explained by god.