Bring It On's Exclusive Interview With Purported NAW Official Mr. Last Gasp!
Bring It On : What exactly is Waterboarding?
Mr. Last Gasp: Waterboarding is a medieval torture device. In medieval times, the
victim was strapped to a board and tipped back or lowered into a body of water until he or she believed that drowning was
imminent. The subject was then removed from the water and revived. If necessary the process was repeated. (see graphic above
Bring It On : Wasn’t Waterboarding
also used against suspected witches?
Mr. Last Gasp: I can see you’ve done your homework. Yes, women suspected
of being witches were subjected to a form of waterboarding know as dunking. The suspected witch was tied to a seat held over
a body of water. Using pulleys and levers, the suspected witch was gradually lowered into the water. After being immersed
for some time, the victim was revived and given the opportunity to confess. If she confessed, she was killed by burning or
hanging. If she did not confess, she was submerged again until the victim drowned or confessed. (see grahic at right).
Bring It On : What is the common element
of "waterboarding" interrogation techniques?
Mr. Last Gasp: The technique is designed to make someone drown.
The trick is to revive them prior to death. The psychological effect is obvious. The victim is led to believe that he
or she is being executed. This reinforces the interrogator's control and makes the victim experience mortal fear. The physical
effects are extreme pain and permanent damage to the lungs, brain damage caused by oxygen deprivation and sometimes broken
bones because of the restraints placed on the victim. At NAW, our subjects are consensual so usually we experience little
in the way of broken bones.
Bring It On : What do you know about current
CIA methods of waterboarding?
Mr. Last Gasp: Brian Ross and Richard Esposito described the CIA's "waterboarding"
technique in an article posted on the ABC News web site on Nov. 18, 2005. According to the article, "The prisoner is bound
to an inclined board, feet raised and head slightly below the feet. Cellophane is wrapped over the prisoner's face and water
is poured over him. Unavoidably, the gag reflex kicks in and a terrifying fear of drowning leads to almost instant pleas to
bring the treatment to a halt. According to the sources, CIA officers who subjected themselves to the water boarding technique
lasted an average of 14 seconds before caving in. They said al Qaeda's toughest prisoner, Khalid Sheik Mohammed, won the admiration
of interrogators when he was able to last between two and two-and-a-half minutes before begging to confess."
Bring It On : Is "waterboarding" torture?
Mr. Last Gasp: To me, no, but not everyone agrees. John Sifton of the of Human
Rights Watch has said that, it is in essence "a mock execution," which is illegal under international
law." We at NAW, however, look at more like an ancient "performance art" ritual practiced between
consenting adults that relieves the stress of modern living. While it is sort of edgy and trendy right now, we
pride ourselves on developing and adapting its techniques through the use of more modern and sanitary materials
(cellophane has replaced the cloth) and making "waterboarding" an exciting art form that millions of everyday
Americans can enjoy. Our "new member programs" are designed to train the novice in the safe practice of the
technique. Once a "novice" conducts 10 successful waterboardings (those that do not result in death) they
can become certified full-fledged members of NAW know as "high priests."
Mr. Last Gasp: We also support a "best practices" manual for the avid "waterboarder." We also
enforce "a continuing membership requirement." Any NAW member reported to have conducted more than three "failed
waterboardings" that result in the death of the subject in any two-year period must appear before the NAW Internal Affairs
Committee or "NAWIAC" which determines whether or not a high priest can retain their title or in extreme cases their
NAW membership! While we expressly deny that any US Intelligence officer or agent of the government is a member
of NAW, we have a "national security" exception to this provision.
Bring It On : Other than sponsoring "safe houses"
for "waterboarding" enthusiast, I understand that NAW engages in charitable giving as well.
Mr. Last Gasp: I am glad you brought that up. For the last ten years NAW has sponsored
local "NAW - Offs" to raise money for evangelical churches that support erecting ten commandment statutes in public spaces.
It is very rewarding.
Bring It On : Do you know whether any government agencies have
contacted NAW to recruit members as private contrators to interrogate prisoners around the world?
Mr. Last Gasp: I am not at liberty to discuss that issue, but I will
say that there has been a "revival" of interest in waterboarding in the United States in the last several years.