Question One: You are the president of the United States, you are in the last week of your annual five week vacation at your ranch. It has been a working vacation, you have been riding your bike, using your machete to clear brush, firing up that chain saw and golfing. Generally, you have worked hard to avoid doing the job you were elected to do - being president of the United States. Although you are exhausted, a storm is brewing in the Gulf of Mexico - a category five hurricane named Katrina is bearing down on a major American city New Orleans. The danger is imminent, so you:

a) Immediately summon Air Force One and get your butt back to Washington, DC to make sure that the Department of Homeland Security and FEMA are prepared to evacuate the City of New Orleans.

b) Continue your vacation because you need to work your short game.

c) Make a speech on your Social Security destruction package.

d) Have your Chief of Staff assemble the cabinet to discuss the roles that their departments might have to play to deal with the disaster.

Question Two: Although you decide to continue your vacation, you remember you were criticized for being on vacation and ignoring urgent threats of a terrorist attack on New York and Washington, D.C. prior to 9/11. You ask God for guidance. God is notably silent and you remember that he was pretty upset with you because you would not speak to the mother of a dead marine that died in Iraq for your oil-based foreign policy. Desperately seeking someone to intervene with God on your behalf, you call Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell, but they are not home. What do you do?

a) Beg the lord to forgive your heartless and anti-Christian demeanor to Cindy Sheehan because you really need his advice.

b) Board Air Force One and instruct the staff to get you as far from New Orleans as necessary. Tell them to get a copy of "Easy Rider" for you to watch.

c) Authorize more illegal wiretaps of US citizens.

d) Get Condi to play Amazing Grace on the piano.

Question Three: Hurricane Katrina slams New Orleans and the gulf coast. The levees in New Orleans break flooding most of the city. Hundreds of thousands flee New Orleans and the city is in ruin. FEMA relief efforts fail and the evacuation of New Orleans is incomplete. What do you do?

a) Publically denounce the mismanagement of FEMA.

b) Admit that you were caught "with your pants down" on the crisis.

c) Get Karl Rove working on a cover-up like he did for the 9/11 crisis.

d) Publically applaud FEMA Director Michael Brown and announce he is doing "a heck of a job."

Question Four: It has been common knowledge for decades that the levees in New Orleans could not withstand a Category Three hurricane. You remember someone telling you that FEMA had predicted that a hurricane hitting New Orleans would be one of the three worst disasters likely to strike the United States. You know that the other two were a terrorist attack on New York (which happened) and a major earthquake in San Francisco. You also know that the Department of Homeland Security advised the White House "at 1:47 a.m. on Aug. 29, hours before the storm hit" in an urgent message that, "Any storm rated Category 4 or greater will likely lead to severe flooding and/or levee breaching."(NYT 1/23/06). By September 1, 2005, you now know that the levees did break and the city did flood. Karl Rove tells you that the American people are going to question why you didn’t do anything about evacuating the city and continuing your vacation. You have no good answers and it looks like you really screwed it up this time, so you:

a) Deny that New Orleans is in the United States. When confronted that it is, you claim you didn’t know and though Mexico would handle the hurricane response.

b) Blame Bill Clinton.

c) Assure the terrified American public that "come hell or highwater that the Saints will complete the NFL season."

d) Go on national television on September 1, 2005 and say that , "I don't think anyone anticipated the breach of the levees."